Review of my poem, moon over white water…

A pinnacle poet. Reading, I see myself, nose pressed between pages of Yeats, Longfellow, Browning. Whitman.  His poetry, I see as flowing streams, hear as melody…the words like prayers tuck themselves within all the cracks within my heart. Laura M. Bailey/writer

Old moon, born gray to this flawed earth,
Your light comes in with the tide’s

When the sea washed the shore cold: waves
calm, straight; inquiring salt.
Cloaked by the night sky,
Extend your light like hair, plaited skeins;
The old myth of your origin,
You float near the old wharf, mouths
silted up; muted wood.

Of the north, midden with hate,
unraveled to a shallow pool, to a clearness,
Born pure, my brave love, dream,
lean to my wound: burn on, burn on,
Sweet kiss scorched by a red moon,
We heft flint, pulsed in veins, bindings,
Inseparable, below shoulders not once.

I walk wet on your border.
Rising, falling, as waves crest and trough;
I breathe your water, I rock you like
a boat across the sand carpet,
You clutch your bars, tight, tight,
I hold you on my arm: this is the fluid in
which we meet each other;
Waist down, darkness so pure.

Copyright © 11/28/18 lance sheridan®

This entry was posted in Poetry.

58 comments on “Review of my poem, moon over white water…

  1. rabirius says:

    Congratulations for the review!

  2. kaddietucker says:

    Your poem evokes feelings of both calm and excitement…absolutely lovely.
    Congrats on the great review, Lance!

  3. Congratulations. Beautiful and inspiring words of the Moon.

  4. Esperanza E. Vargas (sadeyes) says:

    Muy hermosa poesía. Un gusto de leerte. Un saludo cordial

  5. Lexiboyce says:

    Wonderful words…congratulations on that awesome review!

  6. smilecalm says:

    sweet review
    of this touching
    connection to natural
    curious longing 🙂

  7. RoseMarie says:

    So beautiful! This one gives me the good feels of exhilaration and tranquillity.

  8. I agree completely w/ the reviewer!

  9. Darkness so pure!

  10. Lona Gynt says:

    Been floating in this poem all week Lance. A masterpiece, truly!

  11. Lara, thank you… I’ll be reading you as well.

  12. MOMENTS says:

    This poem is absolutely beautiful, Lance, and emotionally vibrant; all thanks to the gorgeous imagery that gives it such lovely flow, deep meaning and strength. I love the review too. Laura M. Bailey feels carried away in the stream of your images and melodies, a reaction I totally share. This is the ultimate goal a poet seeks; it is when the poem disappears as pure words written down, I mean the poem is, so to speak, engulfed by the reader, taken in by the inner soul, when it is able to produce a cathartic effect on the reader. Excellent job!

  13. Darkness so pure well written throughout

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